Trying to figure it out!!

So I realize I have not blogged in a long time and that primarily has to do with the fact that I have not been doing so hot lately.  This summer has been so crazy busy and we are constantly on the move that I have just pretty much failed completely.  I just kind of got tired of blogging about how I am good one week and then blow it the next.  That is how it has been all summer long, and it really has got me down lately.  All of the internal negative mental junk that I thought I got figured out in the beginning is starting to creep back into my head and making it really difficult to succeed.  I keep telling myself that once school starts I will be able to get back on track and get on a good schedule.  Then I have this internal struggle with myself about that and end up eating like crap and telling myself it is OK because once school starts I will be back on track, but then I end up feeling guilty for eating like crap, which then turns into no good negative self talk, which then makes me just want to eat more.  Ugh, it is one big vicious cycle that I just can't seem to break free of.  Does anyone else out there experience feelings like this and figured out how to pull through it.  I am totally not giving up, I am just tired and looking for ways to re-energize my drive and motivation.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  

And just so this post isn't a total downer, here are a couple pictures of some successes I have had this summer.

I completed my second 5K and Tyler's awesome sister Heidi came and ran it with me.  Thanks again Heidi, it was a lot of fun to have someone to run with.  I am running my third race in three weeks.  I guess I better start running again if I am going to make it.

 

I also went through and cleaned out my closet and was able to get rid of about 75% of my clothes because they no longer fit me.  Afterwards I went and did a little shopping and was very happy to learn that I could fit into an Old Navy XL shirt, super exciting.  The down side to that is that shopping takes so much longer now that there is 10 times more clothes to choose from instead of the usual 2 racks of plus size they have at most stores.  I think I will be able to get over that inconvenience pretty quick though.

This is everything I got rid of.

And  this is what my closet looked like with everything missing.  Most of the stuff left is borderline stuff, but I couldn't get rid of everything.  Definitely time to fill it back up again.

 So wish me luck and hopefully I can snap out of the funk and get back into being the great me that I know I can be.

Feeling Good!!

So today was weigh in day and I am so excited with the number I saw on the scale this morning.  Since my turn around on Sunday, I have lost 9lbs.  Yes that is right 9lbs. since Sunday!!  Woot woot!!  I was able to finally break through that 80lb. plateau and also get into the next 10 digit.  My total weight loss thus far is now 83.4lbs gone forever.  No more back and forth crap with that 80lb. mark I just couldn't break.  I can't tell you what a good thing that has done for my head to know that I have finally broken through that. I can also say that I am more than half way to my goal.  I am feeling so strong and motivated.  I can't wait to bust through the next 80lbs. 

Tomorrow morning I run my second 5K, and then start to train for a 10K that I will be running in September.  I have never been a runner before and I know I have said this before, but I just love how running races, gives me something to work towards and gives me such an amazing feeling of accomplishment.  My goal is to run a half marathon next year sometime.  Thank you again to those of you who have pushed me into running and helped support me so much along the way.  There is no way I would running right now if it wasn't for you guys.  Love Ya!!

My next big goal is to hit that  100lb. mark in the next 6 weeks.  My parents are coming in town for a big extended family anniversary party for my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles and cousins will be there and the last time I saw any of them was Christmas time about a week into this journey.  Really I just can't wait to be able to say it, "I have lost 100 pounds."  That is going to be a happy day.  Also I told my hubby that he has to take me away for an overnight date somewhere when I hit that 100lb mark too.  We don't get away much just the two of us so I am SUPER excited for that as well.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!!  I encourage all of you to get out there and do something active.

What's on the menu Wednesday!!

I decided I need to do better at updating the blog and hope that it will help keep me motivated to keep going.  So I decided that every Wednesday I will post a new recipe or something to do with food.  I am happy to report that since I have been back on track I have been doing really good.  I took a sneak peak at the scale this morning and was very happy with what I saw.  I won't tell you today, but will make you wait until my official weigh in day on Friday.  

So for today's What's on the Menu Wednesday I am going to share two different recipes with you that I have made recently.  The first one is a chicken marinade that I made the other night for a BBQ we had.  It is called Grilled Island Chicken and I found the recipe on Pinterest.  It was super yummy and the chicken stayed very moist and was very flavorful.  I think it would be great with some grilled pineapple.

Grilled Island Chicken

1/3 cup vegetable oil

3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (from about 1-2 lemons)

1 ½ tablespoons soy sauce

1 clove garlic, finely minced

½ teaspoon dried oregano

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

2-4 chicken breasts

Combine all ingredients except chicken in a mixing bowl or large airtight plastic bag. Whisk or shake well until the marinade is well mixed. Add the chicken breasts to the bowl or plastic bag so that they are covered by the marinade. If using a bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap. If using a plastic bag, press out all the excess air and seal the bag tightly. Refrigerate and marinate up to 10 hours (I would suggest marinading for at least 3 hours at the minimum).

Preheat a gas or charcoal grill to medium heat. Grill the chicken for 6-7 minutes per side (depending on how thick the chicken breasts are), until the chicken is no longer pink in the center (if you have a meat thermometer, the chicken should register 165 degrees). Tent with foil and let the chicken rest for about five minutes before serving.

Alternately, the chicken can be baked using the following directions:

When ready to cook the chicken, preheat the oven to 350° F. Place the chicken breasts in a baking dish and pour the excess marinade over them. Bake in the oven until cooked through and the internal temperature reaches 165° F, about 45 minutes (exact baking time will depend on the size of your chicken pieces.) Remove from the oven and let rest for 5 minutes before serving.

Recipe Source: from melskitchencafe.com

The other recipe is just a snack that I made up but have been really enjoying, probably a little bit too much.  It is a dip for my apples.  I don't have any exact measurements or anything so you will have to judge it based on your preferences.  I take about 2 Tbl. peanut butter, add a good squirt of honey, a bit of cinnamon (I like a lot of it), and a handful of oats.  Stir it all up and dip your apples it and enjoy this super yummy snack.

I hope you enjoy these!!  Let me know what you think of them if you try them.

Back On Track!!

I have been stuck in a MAJOR rut lately, and I am ready to break out.  I have lost and gained back the same 5 lbs about 4 times now and have really not progressed much in the past two months.  I don't know if I can really say I have hit a plateau or not, because honestly I have not been trying very hard.  I have a bad week and then the next week I do better and I have been going back and forth like this for almost 2 months now.  I talked to a friend the other day who is on this same journey and has been struggling lately too and she said that she feels like she is struggling because she is getting too comfortable.  She can fit into a seat at the movies, or the dentist office now, her clothes fit her better, and she is just a regular fat person as opposed to a really fat person.  She is happy with what she has accomplished and feels better than she did so she is just getting comfortable with being THAT kind of person.  I totally agreed with her, that is exactly how I have been feeling.  I feel SO much better than I used to, and I have come a long way and accomplished many things.  It is such a hard journey and it has only gotten harder and I was starting to get too comfortable with this new person I have transformed into.  That doesn't sound like such a bad thing except I know myself too well and I started to sabotage myself and have been eating terribly.  I know that if I give up now and allow myself to just be comfortable with this new person, I will quickly turn back into that old person I left in the dust.  I have been trying to convince myself that I can keep going but for some reason, just can't find the motivation that I had in the beginning.  Then last night at a very random time the thought very clearly came to me and said, you are not done with this journey.  Yes you have run a 5K and can fit into some clothes in the regular section at some stores, but this is not where you wanted to get too.  You have to keep going.  Your husband and children who have supported you so much deserve more from you than this.  Dust yourself off and keep going.  You can do it.  Right then I turned to my husband and said, tomorrow is a new day and I am going to get back on track, I can do this.  He is the most amazing supportive husband I could ask for.  He said to me, OK so what do you need to do to set yourself up for success this week.  We sat and talked about things that I need to work on, such as planning ahead for dinners, and scheduling time to exercise.  I told him that I can not do this alone and I need his help.  Speaking of needing help, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and praying over the past couple of weeks as I have been trying to pull out of this funk.  I kept thinking why am I not getting help, why can't I figure this out and come out of this.  I realize now that I have had the answer all along, but I have just not been doing my part in it.  I have been totally lazy about everything and sat around waiting for everything to magically change.  I think I have just been afraid of the next half of this journey for some reason and have been looking for excuses to fail instead of reasons to succeed.  I realize now, that I have come WAY to far to stop now.  I can not allow myself to be happy with where I am at.  I have bigger goals for myself and I will never accomplish them if I just sit around being happy with where I am at now.  I am worth it and I deserve to accomplish everything I set myself out to do.  At church today I was looking up scriptures that had to do with strength and came across this one, that I know is going to be a huge source of strength for me as I go forward: 

Mosiah 24:14-15  

"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions. And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."

What an amazing answer for me.  I can not tell you how much strength and peace this is going to bring to me.  I know without a doubt that I am doing the right thing for me and my family.  I will never be alone on this journey.  I have the most amazing cheerleaders on my side.

Montana Vacation Post #1

So school got out for summer on Friday and we loaded up the car and headed up to Montana to my parents house.  Me and the kids are staying up here for two weeks, and Tyler just stayed for the weekend and will come back in two weeks to get us.  Before we came here, I was really nervous to come.  I really wasn't sure how I would do with my eating and exercising, and was afraid to get out of my routine.  The more I thought about it though, the more excited I got.  I had actually not been doing very good at home the last couple of weeks and decided it would actually be a good thing to get out of my normal routine and shake things up a bit.  I have given myself a big goal of losing ten pounds while I am here, and decided that I wanted to blog about my trip as I go, and maybe it would be motivating to me to make sure I have something to blog about.  I am surrounded by such beauty at my parents house in the mountains and I want to take pictures each day of what I choose to do for exercise.  I wanted to do a post everyday, but my parents have dial up internet and it is extremely painful to try and blog at their house, so I will have to make due with a post every couple of days, when I can get to my brothers and use his computer to do it.  So my parents life on five acres up in the mountains and for day one, I went on a nice little 3-4 mile walk, run, hike on this big loop near my parents place.  The last 1/2mile there is a 400ft. incline and it was a bit brutal, but I survived, and will live to do that route another day. 

For day two, I went on an awesome 2 hour hike with my dad in the mountains behind their house.  I was not sure how I would do on it since I haven't done any hiking in a very long time.  There were a few points when I was out of breath, but overall, I did really good.  We took a few fun pictures along the way.  It was a lot of fun just spending time with my dad in the mountains he loves.

 This was a cool hide out thing some squatter had made for shelter.  Also if you look closely in the pictures you can see a feather in my hair.  We found it and I thought Lauren would like it.

 Beautiful Mountains!!

Today for day three, me and my mom took the kids to a near by lake and walked around it.  It wasn't quite the work out I wanted though.  With the kids there is just too much to stop and look at, that we never really got our heart rates up very good.  We are going to try to get back out there tonight and get another little walk in.  I took some more pictures today at the lake. 

How lucky am I that I have this beautiful nature to work out in.  I really hope I can keep this up and accomplish the goals I have set out for myself over the next couple of weeks.  Stay tuned for my next post to see what fun places we explore next.

5K Success!!

So I can't believe I actually did it, I ran an entire 5K without walking or stopping. 

 About 4 months ago, a good friend asked me if I would be interested in doing this 5K with her.  She told me she would run with me and help me out.  Luckily I didn't give too much thought to it, and just said sure why not.  I think if I would have taken some time to think about it, I would have NEVER thought I could have done it.  At that point I had just started working out on a regular basis.  The first time I got on my treadmill, it took me 32 minutes to walk just one mile.  Little by little I continued to improve.  The first time I decided I would try to run, I was able to run for one minute, and then jumped off the treadmill and puked.  I kept pushing myself though.  I started using the couch to 5K program and that was really helpful and motivating to push me along.  I remember the first time I was able to run for five minutes straight and thinking, this is so hard, there is no way I am going to be able to run a whole 5K.  I had it in my mind that I would just continue to push myself, and then when the time came, I would just do my best, which definitely wouldn't be running the whole thing.  I did the C25K program for about 6 weeks on my treadmill and then decided I wanted to start running outside.  Once I started outside, I didn't really use the program any more.  I just listened to my body and pushed it to where I could.  It wasn't until about 3 weeks ago that I was able to run my first mile with out stopping.  I did that 3 times and was able to improve my time by about a minute each time I ran.  I still had the mindset at that point that I would have to walk/run the race.  However on Wednesday I wanted to go out running for what I knew would be my last time before the race and see how far I could push myself.  That night I was able to run almost 3 miles and for the first time got a little glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe I could really run this whole thing.  

 Friday night me and my friends went to go and pick up our running packet and it was crazy the crowds of people who were there for the event.  It really got me excited and made me feel like I was stepping into a new realm of people.  The race I did was with the Ogden marathon, which is in the top ten marathons in the country.  There were over 9,000 runners, from 42 states and 5 countries competing. 
I had to be up at 4:30am the next morning, but struggled to fall asleep due to my nervous excitement.  My alarm went off way too soon, but I popped out of bed and thought, OK here we go, ready or not.  We had to catch a shuttle bus to the start line an hour before the race even began, so there was a lot of time to kill standing around in the windy cold weather.  It was kind of fun though getting all pumped up with the big crowd all there for the same reason.  It was fun to walk around and see all the different kind of people there waiting to race.  I certainly felt cool being among the crowd.
 I had decided I was going to push myself and run the whole thing.
 At promptly 7:00 the race began and off I went.  I found the pace I was comfortable with and just kept going.  I never once told myself I couldn't do it, or that I needed to walk.  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and just enjoyed it!!  I never thought I would be able to say that I enjoy running, but I have learned that it just really gives me a sense of accomplishment and pushes me to try harder.  

The coolest part of the race was nearing the finish line and seeing all the people waiting and cheering.  I quickly scanned the crowd looking for my family and friends who I knew were waiting for me.  The announcer even announced my name as I entered the chute and crossed the finish line.  What an amazing feeling that is, I DID IT!!  Just writing this I see how far I have come in such a short period of time, and I can't believe it.  I immediately ran over to my husband who was waiting with open arms, and we both just cried.  I am so lucky to have such an amazing supportive husband.  It was also neat to have my kids see me finish, and see what I have worked so hard to accomplish.  Lauren told me as I put her to bed last night, that I was the winner of the race in her eyes.  Both my kids want to run the next one with me.  

I definitely want to keep running and push myself to continue to improve.  I wanted to finish the race in under 50 minutes and was able to do it in 46:40, which was way better than what I expected.  So that is my jumping off point and I only want to get better from here.  Thank you so much to everyone that has supported, pushed, and cheered me on.  I truly could not have done this alone.  

The race also happened to fall on my 5 month mark, and I am happy to report a total weight loss of 78.2lbs. gone forever.  I am so happy that I finally decided to take back control of my life.  I have never felt better and I can't wait see what the rest of this year holds for me.  Here are some fun pictures from the race, that you can enjoy as my 5 month progression pics.

Back to the Basics & 4 months pictures

So in my last post I said that I was in a good routine now, but I am finding, that I am getting a little too comfortable with it and pushing my limits with food.  I am not going crazy or anything, and really doing nothing bad, I am just pushing it to my limit, which may be why I am not seeing the numbers I would like to see.  I am still losing and that is great, but I realized I need to get back to the basics when I first started and was super strict about what I was eating and snacking on.  So for this next week I am making myself a promise to snack super healthy and to plan out my meals for the week in advance.  That is another area I have been slacking in.  I have not done good with my meal planning, which is an area that can get me into trouble.  Planning and organization has forever and will forever be a struggle for me, but I know that when I have planned ahead, I have SO much more success with things.  Why then is it so hard to do, I will never understand. 

Something else I have kind of lost sight of, which helped me so much in the beginning, is the Sponsor side of Sponsor Me Slim.  I have talked in more depth about what it is in this post, but I will give you a quick version of what it is.  Sponsor Me Slim has teamed up with Nourish the Children to help slim down America, while at the same time feed the starving children of the world.  This has really proven to be a great motivating tool for not only me, but everyone involved with the program.  So I have decided to step out of my comfort zone once again and ask you all for sponsors.  So many of you have already helped me out with this, and I am so grateful to you, but for those of you who have not yet, I am asking for your help.  The way it works is I have a goal set to lose 160 pounds, you pledge me for any amount you want, and when I reach my goal of 160 pounds lost, I collect the money, and 100% of it goes to feed starving kids.  How awesome is that!!  I can't wait for the day to help those little kids and I need your help to do it.  If you would like to pledge/sponsor me, please send me an email (tlightfield@hotmail.com) with your sponsor amount.  Thank you so much for all your help and support!!

 Now for my four month picture reveal.  I would like to note that the jeans I am wearing in these pictures are 4 sizes smaller than the ones I am wearing in my starting pictures.  Woot, woot!!  I told Tyler today that he better start saving his money, because when I lose all my weight I just might take up clothes shopping as a hobby.  Oh and I almost forgot two exciting things that happened this week.  I ran my first mile, with out stopping or walking, yay, and I hit the 70lbs. gone forever mark, double yay!!