Thursday, August 23, 2012

Trying to figure it out!!

So I realize I have not blogged in a long time and that primarily has to do with the fact that I have not been doing so hot lately.  This summer has been so crazy busy and we are constantly on the move that I have just pretty much failed completely.  I just kind of got tired of blogging about how I am good one week and then blow it the next.  That is how it has been all summer long, and it really has got me down lately.  All of the internal negative mental junk that I thought I got figured out in the beginning is starting to creep back into my head and making it really difficult to succeed.  I keep telling myself that once school starts I will be able to get back on track and get on a good schedule.  Then I have this internal struggle with myself about that and end up eating like crap and telling myself it is OK because once school starts I will be back on track, but then I end up feeling guilty for eating like crap, which then turns into no good negative self talk, which then makes me just want to eat more.  Ugh, it is one big vicious cycle that I just can't seem to break free of.  Does anyone else out there experience feelings like this and figured out how to pull through it.  I am totally not giving up, I am just tired and looking for ways to re-energize my drive and motivation.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  

And just so this post isn't a total downer, here are a couple pictures of some successes I have had this summer.

I completed my second 5K and Tyler's awesome sister Heidi came and ran it with me.  Thanks again Heidi, it was a lot of fun to have someone to run with.  I am running my third race in three weeks.  I guess I better start running again if I am going to make it.

I also went through and cleaned out my closet and was able to get rid of about 75% of my clothes because they no longer fit me.  Afterwards I went and did a little shopping and was very happy to learn that I could fit into an Old Navy XL shirt, super exciting.  The down side to that is that shopping takes so much longer now that there is 10 times more clothes to choose from instead of the usual 2 racks of plus size they have at most stores.  I think I will be able to get over that inconvenience pretty quick though.

This is everything I got rid of.

And  this is what my closet looked like with everything missing.  Most of the stuff left is borderline stuff, but I couldn't get rid of everything.  Definitely time to fill it back up again.

 So wish me luck and hopefully I can snap out of the funk and get back into being the great me that I know I can be.


  1. I think everyone who is trying to be healthy has set backs. I don't have any brilliant, exciting ways how to stay on or get back on track - wished I did because I could sure use that info myself. Remember what amazing changes you've made during the last 8 months. 80+ lbs let go - someone told me years ago not to say lost because you look for things you've lost and you don't want to find those pounds again! Clearing out the clothes that no longer fit had to be inspiring and exciting! And remember - they were too BIG not too small!!!!!!

    Keep on keeping on - you'll get back on track!

  2. Here's the deal. You fight a demon that is obvious to everyone. We all fight things and they go up and down but most people can't see them. You are struggling in front while we struggle behind. Remember all the great things you do, like manage your money so well you can take your family to Disneyland and take your parents also. You teach your children those same principles as you help them design a room using money they have earned. You are a great mom and wife and person. Because you struggle you will become great. Just remember that for some of us the struggle is inside and private where you can't see it.