I don't know why, but for the past few days I have been so ornery at everything and anything, for really no reason. I realize that people don't need to read about my moodiness, but this is more for me and I am hoping that by writing about it, it will help me snap out of it. Yes I am on my period this week so I am sure that has a lot to do with it, but it seems to be going a little deeper than normal. I am in no way going to quit, but I am just feeling warn out and tired from all of this. I have had thoughts like, this is just too hard and is going to take forever, and I can't do it, but then luckily that new positive side of my brain is taking over and making me realize that yes I can do it. I am able to realize that if I don't continue on with this, I will be way more unhappy than I have ever been before. I think the thing that is getting me is that this is just HARD and it takes so much time and effort, and planning, and organization. I am trying really hard to wrap my brain around the concept that this is a lifestyle change and not just some temporary change until I get the weight off. I have grown so much in the past 3 months, but I see that I still have a long way to go. Time is another thing however that I seem to get caught up on. I can't focus on how long this journey is going to be take, because that only makes it harder. I need to continue to take it one day at a time and just focus on that and before you know it, I will be another 3 months into this. I really can't believe that it has already been three months. I realize I am totally rambling and I apologize, but I just going to keep on going, cause this is helping me. A good friend just came to my door to bring me something she had for me, but she also brought me one of those mini mint 3 musketeers. She asked me how I was doing and I told her good, but struggling a little bit and that I was actually in the middle of writing this post. And if you know me at all you know that of course I cried talking about it. It was really good though and I appreciate the words of encouragement she had for me. I came back inside and looked up the calorie guide for the treat she brought me and saw that it was only 25 calories and so I ate it, and savored every bite and it was so good. Thank you Jessica, just what I needed. When I was looking up the nutritional information Logan was standing by me and it showed that the mini bars came in a big bag and he said, "that is good she didn't give you the whole bag, cause she doesn't want you to get fat again." It has really been fun watching my kids learn along with me and see the things they pick up on. Yesterday Logan said to me that if he had one wish it would be that candy was healthy for you. Me and you both kid!! OK now I am getting off track, but I am starting to feel better. So lets take this in the other direction now and focus on the positives for the week. There are three things that I can think of positive for the week. First thing is that I lost 1lb this week, not great but I will take it. Second, I got to spend some time with a good friend, while she pampered me and did my nails. I don't get out much socially right now, really for just a lack of time, and it really was nice to just relax and have fun chatting. And third and the most exciting is that I won a weight loss contest that I was doing on Facebook with some ladies, and I won $110. Yay!! I am truly grateful for the contest, and not because of the money, but because it really put my mind in the right place to be open for the opportunity to embrace the program I am currently doing. This contest started before I started Sponsor Me Slim and before that I really had not tried to lose weight for the past couple of years. I was just so tired of failing that I stopped trying. So when I found out about the contest, I kind of thought, yeah I should probably do this. So I signed up, but really didn't do anything about it for the first month or so. I did however do a lot of thinking about it and started to realize again, that I really did need to find something for me that will work and that I can stick to, I just didn't know what that was, until that day I met Stacey at the mall. So I truly believe that this contest helped me in so many ways, thanks again Jaimee for organizing it!! OK I think I have done enough rambling for today. I am going to take the rest of the day and make it positive and snap out of this funk and into happy grateful Christa. I truly have a lot to be grateful for and am not going to waste anymore time thinking about how hard things are. A weight loss coach/friend of mine wrote on Facebook this morning to,"DECIDE TODAY to CREATE PEACE, LOVE and JOY", and that is just what I am going to do.